A Part of the Process

Confirmation

I questioned whether I should blog about certain things when it comes to you, my readers, who read my posts. I have this thing about only wanting to be viewed a certain way. Wait... let's change that.... I had. I no longer consider myself to be that person, you know, the one who wants to hide who she really is. The path that I'm taking now is one that I long to share with the One who lights it. Jesus. Everyday now since God spoke ever so gently to me about the way I've been treating my family, I have visions of myself busting through some gates in pure total freedom. So will I post the very hard truths no matter how it makes me look? My answer to that is, yes. Yes, I will. 

Over the past few days, it's been weighing heavy on me what someone would say if they read my blog and found out that I was not-so-perfect. I mean, here it is, on my About Erica page, states that I am a Licensed Minister and Youth Leader. But as I share my life with you, I don't even feel worthy to be named as such. Low and behold those are just titles. I am still and always will be Erica. But my concern is my life in relation to quality. How can I be speaking into someone's life when I've got all this going on with me? People of the world would be quick to retort she has her nerves, trying to tell me about Jesus. Look at her life. Yes, look at my life. 

Yesterday, while in service, our pastor, gave a message titled "A Great House". In this message, he referenced to Children of God going through the process. Some of us are wood and clay when we should be silver and gold refined. Situations and circumstances take place in our lives which represents the fire. Yet, the cultivation of our relationship with God determines the category we fall in. We've been stuck so long in our situations and circumstances that we can't see a way out. We have taken our eyes off the One in control. We've forgotten that it's all just a part of the process.

It's just a part of the process that my life looks so imperfect to those who are on the outside looking in. It's a part of the process that I'm judged and persecuted for being a minister of God's word while my life looks as if it's falling apart. Yet, in the midst, I still worship and praise God. I still witness about my Lord and Savior. 

I have a question for you.... 

Is it not God who stated in His word that He takes the foolish things of the world to confound the wise? Ordinary people we are. God never told us that we would be without trials or tribulations. But He did make it so we would be able to bear whatever we have to face for His name's sake. My dear readers, everything that we go through is a part of the process. Now you may ask what is the process. But I truly believe you know. Just in case you don't, it's living our lives in a way that glorifies Jesus. It's answering the call. And guess what? We don't have to be perfect. My life doesn't have to be all together in the eyes of men. But the quality that I mentioned earlier does have to be there. I must do my part. 

The message from my pastor served as a confirmation to me. I don't have to look perfect in the eyes of men in order that they may receive a word from me about Jesus. I do, however, desire quality in my walk with God, that when I open my mouth to be a witness, I will not appear to be a hypocrite. 

But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise;

 and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;

(1 Corinthians 1:27)

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, 

and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; 

and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus.

(Acts 4:13)