Proverbs 4:7

"Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding." ~Proverbs 4:7




Monday, March 25, 2013

Seeing the Changes

Goodmorning, Everyone! I know it's been a while since I posted. In fact, I've tried several times to upload a post from my computer, in which all failed because I would fall asleep. I figured that it wasn't meant for me to post, so I didn't push it.

Today is different though, I'm not on my computer, however, I'm posting from my phone. I just wanted to share the progress of my home building. I believe God has allowed peace to come into our home. And that makes me so happy. In my studies, I find that He's been dealing with me personally about my body being the temple He created it to be for Him to dwell in. It seems that over a period of time I have allowed some toxins to come in and pollute my temple. The one reason for this cause has been that I've been walking by sight and not by faith. I've been allowing what I've seen with my eyes to be my driving force. All the while, it hasn't taken me anywhere, but has caused me to stand still. Thank God for change.

This morning in my studies, I read about Nathanael's encounter with Jesus. Jesus told Nathanael that there was no deceit in him. When Nathanael wanted to know how Jesus knew this, Jesus stated, "Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you." Nathanael answered and said to Him, "Rabbi, You are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!" (John 1:48, 49)

Jesus' response to Nathanael is what I really want to focus on today. He said to Nathanael that because I said these things, you  believe. He told Nathanael that he would see greater things. I found what He told Nathanael to be profound. Why? Because of what Jesus did. All He did was speak to Nathanael and it caused him to believe. It was what He said to him. My question to you is, what is Jesus saying to you?

We as sons and daughters of God should be going by the Word of God alone. Jesus said that His sheep know His voice. If that is the case, why do we have a hard time believing what He says? I realize that I don't want to live any other way than believing in God's word. God told me to build my home. That's what I'm going to do. I believe what He says.

~Erica

Monday, March 18, 2013

"You Have Tightened Up Big Time"

Words from the Hubby

Do you ever enjoy taking walks and talking with the one you love? What if on this walk you were told something that you weren't even expecting? It could be either good news or bad news to your ears. That was the case with me today. The news, however, was good news to my ears. Of course, I heard everything else my husband had to say. But when he spoke these words, they made me feel encouraged about myself.

This morning when my husband and I went for a walk, he told me that he had to admit that I had tightened up big time when it comes to the children. I owe it all to God. Had he not have lead me to take a few days away from the blog, I might not have been hearing those words. I know for sure that it was nothing that had done physically for that matter. I don't want to take any credit for God's work. To Him be the glory.

I've been looking at my family a lot lately. Gluing my eyes to their faces whenever I can to let them know that I'm interested in what they say. I'm truly taking this one day at a time. I want doing good to my family to become the lifestyle that I live. I want to really follow in the steps of my big brother, Jesus. I mean, I had a time in my life where I couldn't wait to get a break from my children. But for a long time, that changed. Now, though, I don't want to leave them. I want to be at home when they're home.

Our 3rd year wedding anniversary is coming up next week. And all I've been thinking about is what special thing am I going to do for my husband. It really does feel good to think about someone else other than myself. I want the day to be special for him. My daughter's birthday is the day before that. Shatorria will be 10 years old. What will I do for her? I have class both nights. Not only that, it's the end of our mod. Then, we go on our Spring Break. A week out of school is much needed right now. I can't wait. Well, I'm much at a loss for words right now. I'm thinking I'll post again in a few more days, Lord willing. Until then........Blessings!


Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Time of Bonding

Bridging the Gap



How well do you conversate with your children? Not to say that all of you have children. But for those who do.....how is your communication level with your children? Do you talk to your children as if they are beneath you? Or do you talk to your children as if they really mean a great deal to you? As if in your voice they could hear all the love in the world.

I recall a time where I used to say to my children, "I'm not your friend, I'm your mother".
Although I haven't said it lately, just thinking about bonding with my children triggered the memory of those words. We must be careful that we do not allow satan to rob us of our most precious bonding moments. The ones we have with our children. I believe that I have been so busy trying to be "Mom" that I've missed the part that is supposed to bond. I've learned that being a mom isn't just about enforcing rules and making sure that your children follow them. It's also about letting them know by showing them that you love and care for them. Children liked to be talked to. They like for someone to listen. They, just like us, want to know that they can have someone that they can confide in. Does this take away from being their parent? Absolutely not. It makes the parenting role even better. That's where the nurturing comes in.

I for one, have missed this with my own children. From experience, I know that my children don't feel confident that they can come and tell me anything. It's almost as if there seems to be a lack of trust between us. An invisible wall serving as a barrier to their hearts. I, for one, am on the other side dying to know what's within. It's gotten so bad to where my most sincere moments are looked upon with suspicion. I then become classified as pretending or being fake. It's my own fault, I know. Thank God for change.

I see that I really have a lot of work ahead of me. I am going to have to really push myself. And when I say that, I mean I'm going to have to be hard on myself. I have to bridge the gap. I want to truly bond with my children. I want to build friendships with them. I want the mother-son-daughter bond. As I cultivate my own relationship with God, I see that the time I spend with Him is precious to me. I want the time with my children to be the same.

I've purchased journals to begin writing letters to them. This will only be where I start. It will not be where I end. Everyday, I'm going to set out to make my children feel special to where they won't have to look for that specialness anywhere else. This, however, will not stop my role as their parent. I will not be without the rod of correction when it is needed. It only means that I will do it in a loving manner that says to them that it's all out of love. Better days are ahead of us. I plan to be away a few days as I need to sit before my Father. His face is so precious to me. So are those of my family. It is only imperative that I go to my Source to draw out the very nutrients I need to be able to nourish the fruit of the garden that I am responsible to keep. My heart and home.

 
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
(Psalm 127:3)
 


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Progress So Far

Today has been a really good day. It started out with us sending the children off to school of course. Then my husband and I had to make a special trip to D'Iberville. Turns out something went wrong with the filing of my taxes. I ended up haviing to go pick up my paperwork for it to be mailed off. But with the help of our oldest son, we found a way around it. A good way that is. I filed them myself through an online free tax site. Everything checked out just as was predicted with the AARP.

We have prayer every Wednesday at church from 12 noon to 1:00pm. Because of the tax preparation, we got there at about 12:30pm and didn't get done 'til around 1:30pm. I got home in time enough to have dinner ready before the children got home from school. It's always a plus when that happens. And it makes me feel really good. I'm starting to love the idea of cooking. Planning out dinner menus is exciting. I have found a way that I get to be creative as well as try out new dinner dishes. Another thing, I love being at home when my children get out of school. I don't get to have as much time as I'd like with them because I go to school at night. And I haven't always made the best of the time I've had with them. But I wake up everyday with a new chance. God is so good!

Our Bible Study is also on Wednesdays. Before we went, I had the children read the Bible in preparation for the lesson they would have. That turned out somewhat challenging. Very observant, I am. I found that children are so easily distracted. I kept wondering if that was because we do not make them read on a daily basis. And when they do read, they've had so much other stuff to occupy them, they can't focus on the Word of God. I hate to say this, but it's as if the Word is boring to them. It baffles me how satan has us duped. Here we have it, people like Martin Luther King and so many others before him fought for us to have equal rights and privileges. There was a time that our anscestors were not taught to read because they were black slaves and treated like trash. And now, we have the opportunity to read whatever we want and we can't even pick up a book. We won't even spend a minute reading. It's sad and it hurts. I mean really, that's like slapping Jesus and all of those who paved the way of faith in the face. Where is our thanks and gratitude? I think about things like that.

I don't ever want to seem ungrateful about anything. I mean, this is a blog and I'm having a problem using the word "I" so much. Life is a beautiful thing. Ever since I was a little girl, I can always remember being so grateful just to be living. I thank God.  I know that you keep seeing me reference to my Father above. What's a girl supposed to do when she has such an awesome Father? The progress that I've made so far looks like it is supposed to look.......one day at a time. May seem small to others. But it's big to me. It's big to Him. Where I am weak, my Brother is always strong.

Who is the King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty,
the LORD mighty in battle.
(Psalm 24:8)

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Majoring in the Minors

 
Writing is therapeutic! Do you ever have so much on your mind that you don't know which way to go with your thoughts? Do you ever feel as if you have not enough time in the day to do all that is tugging at your heart for you to do? Well that's my life right about now. I feel like I have so much that I want to accomplish. Yet, nothing seems to be getting done. Well it's time for all of that to change. No longer will I spend half of my day working on my blog site. No longer will I spend it trying to write a blog. I am going to continue to post. But, if I'm going to be effective in building my home, I've got to truly prioritize my day. My life. My marriage. My family. My Home!
 
I've been feeling lead to truly get before God in with fasting and prayer for major guidance in this ever so pressing need before me. My family is starving for the god kind of love that only I can give. With it having been neglected so long, to just start looks like a huge mountain. There is something that is in this "eternal ruler" that satan does not want to come forth. And I hate to say that I have been giving him victory. Nevertheless, truth is truth. BUILD, BUILD, BUILD, my poor little heart is screaming. So I've come up with a list of things that are major to me that I want to master. I ask that as you read over them. Please, if you are a prayer warrior, pray for me and my family.
 
List of Majors: (1) Strengthening my relationship with my Heavenly Father (2) Communicating effectively with my husband (3) Building my relationship with my children (4) Cultivating a God-centered home that is built on the foundation of His word (5) Teaching my daughter to be godly women (6) Facing and owning up to all of my responsibilities.
 
It's time out for me living my life in fear when God did not call to live such a life. I need to just get up and do. Forget about what people think. It's not to please them but my Father in heaven. Blessings.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Planning it Out


Those who fail to plan, plan to fail!


Goodmorning my beautiful readers! It's Monday, the first day of my home building journey. I'm so excited! I mentioned in my last post that I would be blogging about steps that I will be taking towards building my home. It's funny because as I'm blogging, I'm watching "Kelly and Michael". And on the show, they are honoring Unstoppable Moms. The mother's name is Mary Lou. I tell you, God knows just what to do at the right time. Wow. I'm always amazed.

Well the reason I mentioned her is because, as her daughter describes her day-to-day tasks, she is giving a play-by-play of her schedule by time. She apparently wakes up at 4:30 every morning and she's in the bed by 12 midnight. She does the same thing everyday at the same time. When her children give their reason for why she does it, they say it's because she wants to teach them to be successful. Can I point out that the main word is teach. This is something that I have not really done with my own. Just watching Mary Lou's play out of her daily routine shows me how important teaching is. Ironic it is, because all my life I've wanted to be a teacher. God has given me children that I may be able to teach them and I've not really taught them anything. But that day has come to an end.

I start today by planning out my day. All the while, I'm praying that God will help me to be consistent as well as diligent. I'm not going to worry about starting and stopping. I must be careful not to feed into the enemy's tactics. I'm just going to take it one-day-at-a-time. When I first read "A Woman After God's Own Heart", Elizabeth George stated that we should plan. And every time I think of the word plan, a scripture comes to mind.

Proverbs 16:9 says, A man's heart plans his way,
but the LORD directs his steps.
 
This scripture tells me that I am supposed to plan but when I plan, I am to allow God to direct the steps that I take in bringing the plan to pass. I have not yet sat down to completely plan out my day. I must seek the face of my Father so that I will be doing according to as He wills me. I want to make sure that I am prioritizing my plans the right way. I have been filled with hope. And I believe that my family and I are well on our way to becoming the house and home where God can truly dwell.
 
I've started planning with simple tasks such as meal planning, appointments, and things of that nature. I must be careful though and use wisdom. I must allow time for fitting in my husband's to do's. I'm really trying to do good to him. He deserves that from me. My family deserves that from me. I'm excited! Works will follow my faith. 

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Couch Potato Christian

Can you imagine being a Christian who professed to being a Christian while the only thing you did was sit on the couch and profess your faith? You Facebooked and you Tweeted about the goodness of God, but your life has no resemblance to what you profess? Your children are lazy and rebellious, and your husband is doing all of the fighting for the family while you sit on the couch and do nothing. You hope and wish your cares away. You've become a couch potato Christian.

Will it be okay for me to ask for forgiveness if I bare my soul before the world? Some people may have a problem with me being so open about the things I've been hiding. Truth is, this is a social media network. All that my readers, visitors, family and friends have to go by is what I choose to reveal to them all. Or shall I say you all. I can paint a picture perfect family before you. But I choose not to do that. I don't want to. Why, you ask? There's no truth in it. And how can I ever be free if I'm hiding.

I have learned some valuable lessons over the years since I've given my life to God. Most of them, I have had to learn the hard way. But I am so grateful to God. Let me say this before I go any further. If you call yourself being a child of the Most High, and you never feel convicted of the wrong things you do. If you never are chastised by Him, you may want to check your walk.

Everyday I look for lessons from my Father. Whether big or small, I keep my ears open. What I do with them is a different story. I don't always apply. Sometimes it takes me going around the mountain several times before it finally sinks in. Lately, the couch potato Christian I asked you about earlier has been me. I've been sitting on my butt doing nothing while my family is being destroyed. Last night, I got a scolding from my husband. I didn't want to hear it. I listened. One of the things I am supposed to do is follow my husband. And part of following means that I am to listen. Usually, when he speaks, I say nothing at all. I'm not a stickler for conflict. I like to keep peace in my home by all means.

However, the couch potato Christian mentality is doing everything but keeping the peace. I don't like for my husband to be upset with me. Nor do I want my children suffering for my selfishness.  So, I've concluded that I'm just going to have to roll up my sleeves, buckle down, and get dirty for righteousness sake. There is a song by Mary Mary that says, "We all need a little bit of dirt to grow. We need a little bit of rain to wash our souls." To me, that means that we are gonna have bumps, bruises, smudges, and all kinds of things to come upon us. But in the end it will all be worth it. There is a process that takes place.

My family is worth this journey. In the next few days, I'm going to be blogging about the steps I'm going to be taking as I set out to build my house. Right now, I've just been confessing. I must work over and through the toxins I've allowed to permeate my heart. Confession is good for my soul. I must face the person I was so I can be who "I AM". "I AM" is the one God says I am. It's a shame that I have been living all these years as a child of God and I haven't even died to myself. I have to ask the hard question of who have I been revealing, Christ or me? I think that at this moment, we can all say me. Thank God for His grace and mercy that changes.

 
 
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:
old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
(2 Corinthians 5:17)


Friday, March 8, 2013

Priorities

The First Step




Ever wonder why it seems as if your family life is out of whack? This the question I had to ask myself. It was more of in a prayer to God. And as you know, the answer was revealed. It had to do with my priorities. They were out of order. Truth be told, they still are. But I can't sit and let them be that way. I've got to do something about them.

I've always prided myself on making God my first priority. He has my time before I ever do anything else in my day. Although, lately that hasn't been the case. My focus has been somewhat off and I feel as if I'm pressured on all sides. The circumstance before me, building my home, has me worried. I feel as if I'm going to miss something; like going in that direction when I should have gone in this one. Truth be told, I'm scared. I have messed up so much in my life that I don't know if I can take one more setback. No, these are not supposed to be my thoughts. They are. And only I can do something about them. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; This is what I'm supposed to do about them. Am I always successful? No. But yet I still push forward. I'm determined to win because God says that I already have.
 
My family on the other hand have been catching the short-end-of-the-stick. I have been so unfair to them. And now, only I can make it right. I have delusioned myself into thinking that everything about our home is going to straighten out just by wishful thinking. It's not, it won't, and it can't. God did not design it that way. He said that faith without works is dead. That, my friend, says that I have to do something. I've got to prioritize my priorities. It's all just a matter of me taking the first step. My problem is I worry too much sometimes.  I make mountains out of mole hills for myself. And instead of me moving forward, I remain stagnant. I walk with my eyes and not with my faith.
 
God has been ever so merciful to me. I thank Him for every bit of it. I'm glad to know that He knows what He has placed within me. I'm glad to know that He has enabled me and filled me with hope for change. I don't want to be all about talk when it comes to doing what I know I should do. Heaven forbid that I continue to sin after God has nailed my sins to the cross. The Bible says that he who knows to do right and does not do it, to him it is sin (James 4:17; paraphrased).
 
One day soon, my story will be the brightest ever. As you take this journey with me, dear friend or family, you too are going to be witness of the transformation that is going to take place in my home. But for now that transformation starts right here in me.
 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Judgment or Persecution?

One night I had a dream that my husband and I were walking down the road. It was night time, the stars were out. All of a sudden, my husband sensed that something was coming. So he grabbed me and pulled us over into a ditch. I asked him what was that for? He responded that a tornado was coming. And it did. It began to get real windy. I looked up and overhead there was a dark, black funnel twirling in the road. I covered my face and I prayed. I felt protected though because my husband was a shield for me.

Then the funnel stopped. What was released was small light puffy clouds of dew. They were like a mist over us. I can;t explain their sigificance. I dropped my head so as to cover my face. Then I felt an immediate calm. I looked up again only to see what looked like an ice cold finger pointing at me. There was a silhouette of a face. It was dark so I couldn't see who it was. But I saw this huge finger. As the finger pointed at me, I heard a voice. It was loud and boisterous. The voice said, "Judgment!" I woke up immediately afterwards. It was probably early morning around 2 or 3am. I pondered for a moment on what the dream meant.

Any time I have a dream that seems to have a godly significance, I always ask the Holy Spirit to help me understand. I don't want to miss anything that God is saying or revealing to me. So that was my prayer. I fell back to sleep. When I woke back up, I told my husband. In a way I sensed that I knew what the dream meant. But I wanted clarity. A few weeks later I received my answer. An event took place that helped me understand what God was saying. I won't go into detail about the event but I will say that it opened my eyes to see that I was not taking care of my home.

Last year, I prayed to God that He would teach me how to be a woman after His heart. I was feeling like my house was being torn apart before my eyes. I wasn't happy with what I was seeing in my children nor was I happy with what I was seeing in myself. As I finished my prayer, the Holy Spirit had me look into a bag. In that bag was a book by Elizabeth George titled, "A Woman After God's Own Heart".

I picked the book up went straight to the table of contents.

A Woman After God's Own Heart       


This book spoke of everything that my heart was desiring. And my heart still is. But at the time this book served as answer to my prayers. I read it, highlighted, made a vow to practice what I read, and reread the book again. I knew then what God expected of me. I made a vow to do just that. This year, I said, was going to be the year I spend building my home. This year was the year I said I would get my priorities in order. This book was my guide. It broke down those important areas for me while giving me strategies I could use and put into practice. It was God's answer to my heart's prayer.

Through this book, God helped me understand what my dream was all about. Judgment had come to my house. Let me first say, that God's judgments are good judgments. He's no respector of person's. Therefore, He renders what will be of benefit to us whether for our good or our bad. Good if we choose good, bad if we choose bad. We make the choice. In this case, the judgment was for my good. God expects something of me. I am to take care of my home. I had and have not been doing that. I passed the baton to my husband and allowed him to take that responsibility all by himself.

I have come to realize the error of my ways. Having a well buildt home on the foundation of the Word of God is something that I crave daily. I long to please God with my life, my whole heart. I am realizing though, that it's not going to happen by me sitting back and allowing my husband to do everything. No, I have a responsibility too, if not the biggest. I am the center of the home. I am the one who keeps it together. And because I have not filled that responsibility, I have been tearing down my home.

My heart yet screams of all the right things to do. It's so loud to where it seems as if I'm doing them while putting forth no real effort at all. But now, those days of just sitting and wishing while passing my baton are over. I'm ready to build.  My family needs me. My husband, my children.... they need me. People are talking. People I live with. I share a house with my mother & sister-in-law. It's them, two grandchildren and us, my family.  This whole thing of me passing my baton is causing there to be no peace in the lives of those around me. And when the issue is addressed, I feel as if I'm being persecuted. Shame on me!

Reality doesn't take long to sit in when I realize that it's all apart of God's judgment. Correction must take place. It's my job to make sure it does. So I start today of keeping my eyes open for every area of my home that God sees out of order. I'm building upon a sure foundation. I'm keeping my eyes on Jesus.

 
"And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light,
and thy judgment as the noonday.
(Psalm 37:6)

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Running on Empty

Time to Refuel....

 
 
     Ever felt as if you were running on empty? Tired and drained. Like you're not as close to God as you want to be. This is the way I feel right now. At this time I know I need to refuel. Why, you may ask. I can only give you two reasons:(1) My focus is off (2) I haven't pressed into His presence.

     There are times in my life when I get to focusing too much on what's in front of me that I lose focus of what's really important. When these moments come, God always sings this song over me, Restore Me by Anthony Evans. When I first heard this song, I kneeled and I cried. It was like at that moment God was refueling me with hope. He yet again reassured that my He loves me. Satan loves those moments where you feel everything but who God says that you are. He feeds off of them like a leech to it's prey. Anything to get you off balance to where you are not on fire for God anymore and you're not fulfilling your purpose.

    I ask the Lord to rebuke him on our behalf. I know that I am not the only one who goes through this. We all have these moments I'm sure not all at the same time. How do you handle yours when it comes? Do you ignore it and then seek to fill it with some earthly passion? Or do you do as I, by acknowledging that you are just a mere mortal in need of your Savior?

     God is the only one who can fill any void that takes place in our lives. I believe He allows us to experience them in order that we may not forget where He brought us from. I believe He allows these very moments as the one I'm having right now so that He can give something to me (us). He can replenish me and restore me. Jesus, when He prayed, asked that God not remove us from the world but keep us from evil. Therefore, I conclude that He knows that we will have moments like this where we feel anything less than our best. But the key that we must use is the one of drawing near.


But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD,
that I may declare all thy works.
(Psalm 73:28)

Monday, March 4, 2013

A Part of the Process

Confirmation


I questioned whether I should blog about certain things when it comes to you, my readers, who read my posts. I have this thing about only wanting to be viewed a certain way. Wait... let's change that.... I had. I no longer consider myself to be that person, you know, the one who wants to hide who she really is. The path that I'm taking now is one that I long to share with the One who lights it. Jesus. Everyday now since God spoke ever so gently to me about the way I've been treating my family, I have visions of myself busting through some gates in pure total freedom. So will I post the very hard truths no matter how it makes me look? My answer to that is, yes. Yes, I will. 

Over the past few days, it's been weighing heavy on me what someone would say if they read my blog and found out that I was not-so-perfect. I mean, here it is, on my About Erica page, states that I am a Licensed Minister and Youth Leader. But as I share my life with you, I don't even feel worthy to be named as such. Low and behold those are just titles. I am still and always will be Erica. But my concern is my life in relation to quality. How can I be speaking into someone's life when I've got all this going on with me? People of the world would be quick to retort she has her nerves, trying to tell me about Jesus. Look at her life. Yes, look at my life. 

Yesterday, while in service, our pastor, gave a message titled "A Great House". In this message, he referenced to Children of God going through the process. Some of us are wood and clay when we should be silver and gold refined. Situations and circumstances take place in our lives which represents the fire. Yet, the cultivation of our relationship with God determines the category we fall in. We've been stuck so long in our situations and circumstances that we can't see a way out. We have taken our eyes off the One in control. We've forgotten that it's all just a part of the process.

It's just a part of the process that my life looks so imperfect to those who are on the outside looking in. It's a part of the process that I'm judged and persecuted for being a minister of God's word while my life looks as if it's falling apart. Yet, in the midst, I still worship and praise God. I still witness about my Lord and Savior. 

I have a question for you.... 

Is it not God who stated in His word that He takes the foolish things of the world to confound the wise? Ordinary people we are. God never told us that we would be without trials or tribulations. But He did make it so we would be able to bear whatever we have to face for His name's sake. My dear readers, everything that we go through is a part of the process. Now you may ask what is the process. But I truly believe you know. Just in case you don't, it's living our lives in a way that glorifies Jesus. It's answering the call. And guess what? We don't have to be perfect. My life doesn't have to be all together in the eyes of men. But the quality that I mentioned earlier does have to be there. I must do my part. 

The message from my pastor served as a confirmation to me. I don't have to look perfect in the eyes of men in order that they may receive a word from me about Jesus. I do, however, desire quality in my walk with God, that when I open my mouth to be a witness, I will not appear to be a hypocrite. 

But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise;
 and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
(1 Corinthians 1:27)

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, 
and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; 
and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus.
(Acts 4:13)








Saturday, March 2, 2013

Letters

Last night as I was doing research for blogging, I came across a blog post called "Leave a Written Testimony for Your Children", by Christin Slade. It reminded me about a time some years ago (2009) when I felt a leading to write personalized letters to my children daily. Back then, I wanted to leave my children with something to cherish for the rest of their lives. But like everything else, I started.........that's just it. Me keeping the process going didn't last long at all.
 
     I tell ya, you know the things you that you have a passion for by the burning sensation that you feel inside and the excitement that is in your heart when you think of the idea of it. I'm feeling that way right now. Being that I am a stay-at-home-mom right now, what better time to start than today!
 
     My children probably think that I don't pay much attention to them. They could be right (another area of my self-examination; cultivating my relationship with my children). The article that I read speaks of journaling about your children; writing prayers for them on specific days of the week and so on. Truth be told, I'm really excited about this. I have always desired to have a close bond with my children (the three that I birthed from my womb). I would be lying to you if I told you that I had such a close bond with them now. You can read about why I say that on my Confession of a Selfish Mother page. I have so much to do.

     Starting these personalized journals are a stepping stone to building my relationship with my children. I desire to pay so much attention to them. I want to study them. I want to know their personal language of love. I want to listen to them with great interest in what they have to say. I just want to build. Hey, isn't this what this blog is all about.....building? I'm so ready to lay the first brick. I thank and praise God for a giving me a new perspective. Blessings.
 

Friday, March 1, 2013

Lord, Help Me Do Good to My Family


     "Lord, help me do good to my family." These words have been coming out of my mouth all day long. And for good reason. After my conviction yesterday, I realized I really need to change. I love my family. My husband and children are my world. One of these days, I will introduce you to them. But this drive that I have to do good to them comes from my loving my heavenly Father more. God did not put me here for no reason at all. No, He created me for a purpose to fulfill His purpose.

     Yesterday, I recall setting about all day to do good to my husband while my children were at school. I read a lot of blogs of women homeschooling their children. I don't. Mine go to public schools which is another subject alone.  Today, though, I wanted to do something special for all of them. I decided to give them a "taco & burrito night". I went to the local Walmart, bought the ingredients, and went home to prepare. I even bought cookies to bake. Were they surprised? Yes!

My son's response: "My mama, gave us a buffet!" (laugh out loud)

     My husband has this thing where, if he sees me doing something good, he comes to feel my forehead to make sure I'm okay. I know, sounds bad doesn't it. He cracks me up with his sense of humor. But everytime he does it, it makes me ponder in my heart. It makes me wonder just how much am I not doing for the people who are to be my first priority.

     I'll have to admit, doing good to them does make me feel good. And I visualize the peace that it's going to bring to my home. I know that I'm just beginning, but I'm going to take this one day at a time. I believe that my biggest setback is when I contemplate the work that I have to put in. As I'm typing right now, a question comes to mind.......... "Why are they not worth it to me?"

     I must prayerfully take this to my Father above that He may give me an answer and allow peace to fill my heart.